Angry Neighbour

Mum says I need to write a letter to our next-door neighbour. What am I supposed to say, though? Maybe something like this:

Dear guy,

I’m very sorry about kicking that ball through your window and somehow destroying your kitchen. In my defence, it’s pretty weird to have everything made out of glass. Maybe you can rebuild it in a stronger material.

Kind regards,

Harry Jenkins

No? Well, I don’t know what else there is to say. It’s not like I’m going to offer to pay for his kitchen replacement, so that’s about all there is to it. Also, it’s true that if his kitchen wasn’t all made of glass, it probably wouldn’t have gotten so broken. I was pretty amazed when mum told me how badly it had been smashed up. I know my basketball is really bouncy (like, really bouncy), and I can kick it pretty hard, but still… what a disaster. I can’t really take all the blame for that level of damage, can I?

He should rebuild his kitchen using something cool, like solid silver or maybe giant stone blocks. Or, if he can’t afford that, he could just use this stuff that my parents used when they did they their laundry renovations. I guess I could flesh out my letter by including the phone number of the laundry designers. Melbourne might not have too many renovation companies who can build rooms that don’t break. That’s probably why the guy was so angry.

It’s true that I shouldn’t have been kicking the ball so close to the house. Dad told me that something like this would happen if I didn’t stop doing it. But he never warned me that the neighbour’s house would fall apart at the drop of a hat. If I’d known… well, to be honest, if I’d known I would have deliberately kicked a ball through the window, just to see what happened.