Curse You, Vikings

Why am I always saddled with the task nobody wants to touch with a ten-foot pole? Seriously. I assume it’s because people think I’m good at these things, but that’s only because I’m forever having to shoulder them. It certainly doesn’t mean I enjoy them.

The task in question? I have to show a prospective investor from Norway around our head office. This might sound perfectly doable in theory, but that’s only if you haven’t seen the office in question. It’s complete and utter chaos: stray electrical equipment and poorly arranged cables left, right and centre, too many desks and yet not enough surface area, and an insane amount of clutter in heaping piles all over the shop. And I’m supposed to show the investor around tomorrow.

More to the point, I’m supposed to show them how orderly and functional our space is, as the visit comes in the wake of reports to the contrary from one of our competitors. Damn you, Metal Viking Projects! And damn you, Larry in HR, for pigeonholing me as the person to deal with this. It’s not like I’m any kind of expert in office interiors. Sydney being the way it is, though, I guess I’m as qualified as the next person to spin a point of view on the topic.  

When the company relocated to Sydney, office fitouts somehow dropped to the lowest rung of the to-do list. You’d think it’d have gone up in priority, given how design-obsessed this city is becoming. I mean, it’s no Berlin or New York City or even, like, Oslo. But we can’t afford to keep being so lazy about it. God knows Metal Viking Projects isn’t holding back on that score. You should see their new integrated tech set up, not to mention the giant chrome sword in their lobby.

Well, yeah. There’s not a whole lot for me to do but try and get this clutter shifted before tomorrow, and distract the investor with a really, really good coffee.