Protein, Nature’s Steroid

So yeah, you could say at this point that I’ve basically become 90% protein. Everything I eat has protein, everything I drink besides water has protein, and water doesn’t really count because…it’s water. I’m trying to get things to the point where everything I eat is protein, at which point I basically don’t have to exercise. My body will accept that protein is all that it gets, so I can become buff without ever having to lift a finger, except to occasionally chop chicken when my supplies of the diced stuff run out and it’s not on special offer.

I think I get enough exercise in my day job anyway, to the point where I’m surprised that I’m not super buff already. Working in construction isn’t just a lot of sitting on your butt like an office job…unless you’re operating the crane, in which case, it’s a lot of that. I mean, I have to put up scaffolding, lug around aluminium toolboxes. Melbourne work-sites are no joke, there is a lot of equipment that needs handling. In this weather there’s like a 50% chance that we’ll be pulling Derek’s ute out of the mud at some point during the day, because he refuses to upgrade, or look after his tires. But that’s just classic Derek.

I’m just saying, all the guys can laugh at me, but I’m the one with all the protein. I’m lugging around this heavy work equipment almost every single day, all day, from dawn til dusk. That’s going to be the exercise regime of the future: fixing ute trays and canopies, pouring cement into a cement mixer, then coming home to a meal of lean chicken, broccoli and quinoa, the grain with the highest protein count. I try not to have too much though, because…starchy carbs. You know, everything in moderation, and all that. Not too many carbs, almost no fat, lifting a bunch of aluminium ute trays in Melbourne and hereabouts, alongside other mates who don’t have as much protein, and thus can’t lift like I can…yeah, a bit of it is about feeling good. Sue me.

-Tanaka