Cars: can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em. I mean, you can live without them, obviously. It’s not like they’re part of our breathing apparatus or anything. In fact, there’s a good argument that we’d breathe easier without cars and their noxious fumes, not to mention their cortisol spike-inducing running costs. In all likelihood, …
We are on the precipice of a major breakthrough in efficient heat distributing window frame technology. I know that not everyone cares about green technology and windows the same way I do but they should. My team of scientists are about to launch the world’s biggest campaign to get people to use more heat efficient …
My 18 year year old nephew, Jordan, just told me that he’s buying a car from his mate’s older brother. He didn’t seem very clear on the details, so I’m wondering if I there might be a bit of dodgy judgement in the mix. He seems to think it’s a steal at $500, but I …
Why am I always saddled with the task nobody wants to touch with a ten-foot pole? Seriously. I assume it’s because people think I’m good at these things, but that’s only because I’m forever having to shoulder them. It certainly doesn’t mean I enjoy them. The task in question? I have to show a prospective …
Mum says I need to write a letter to our next-door neighbour. What am I supposed to say, though? Maybe something like this: Dear guy, I’m very sorry about kicking that ball through your window and somehow destroying your kitchen. In my defence, it’s pretty weird to have everything made out of glass. Maybe you …
My friend Kelson is a strange character. I always forget that, because he seems so normal on the surface, but underneath he’s a raging weirdo. His latest thing is having an extreme obsessions with baking, to the point that he’s getting up at 3am every day to stone-grind grains for the day’s bread while playing …
Oh my good gracious, so much rain. So much rain. I want to find the person who invented the rain, lock them outside in the rain, and they they’ll know how miserable they make everyone. They’ll be pounding on the windows, demanding to be let in that instant, and I shall simply laugh. How do …
MAJOR waves at the meeting tonight. I fear we may stand on the precipice of something truly terrible, even worse than the time that Sister Lana pointed out that we’ll need special glass to shield us from the solar radiation on the lunar surface, and we don’t have any. She was swiftly excommunicated, of course, …
First week working at my family’s pizzeria, and I’ve already learned to just shut my mouth and add the toppings. Just have to do this for another twenty years, then Papa will retire, I get the shop, and I can talk over my OWN kids and tell them they shouldn’t complain. That’s what Papa says, …
I just went on the weirdest date. The guy was a nice enough chap, but he spent almost the entirety of dinner talking about feet. At first I was fine with it – I’ve got nothing against feet at all – but it got to the point where I had to question whether he was …